You, my loyal readers, are probably fed up with my lazy posting ethics. Granted, a lot of it has to do with a combination of Summer laziness and with a lack of decent computer access. However, this time I needed to spend a lot of time researching my legal rights since I'm going to be reviewing an L. Ron Hubbard book. I didn't want their covert hostilities getting me in trouble with the FBI. Oh, by the way, if you happen to be a Clam and you're reading this: I'M BEING SARCASTIC, get over yourself, go get rid of your clingy alien spirits or whatever it is you do when you're not telling sick people that Tom Cruise can save them with exercise and vitamins.
It's obvious that L. Ron Hubbard was a paranoid liar, it's equally obvious that his followers are seven eggs short of a dozen, but despite all that I have quite enjoyed the Mission Earth series so far. There's plenty of critical websites disliking it for every reason from his marketing tactics to the grammar and syntax. But I want to be fair, I'm reviewing book one, The Invader's Plan, not Dianetics.
The book is "fiction", concerning a story that took place nearly a century ago on the make-believe planet Earth (it's obvious such a planet never existed since it's inhabitants and their primitive stupidity would never have evolved in an intelligent universe.) It contains the written confession of Soltan Gris and the truth behind Mission Earth.
The Voltarian Confederacy is a union of 110 planets that has been in existence for millenia. The conquest of those planets, and of those that will be added in the future, are done based on a timeline developed by the founding fathers over 100,000 years before. The schedule is considered the most sacred aspect of Voltarian existence.
Trouble boils over when a routine recon mission learns that the inhabitants of Blito-3 (Earth) are polluting themselves at such a rate as to make the planet useless by the time of its invasion, which isn't scheduled for a few hundred more years. The Voltarian military is already pushed to the maximum limit in their current campaign but that's neither here nor there as invading Earth early would be a gross sacrilege.
Lord Endow of the Exterior Division, machinated by Lombar Hisst of the Coordinated Information Apparatus (CIA, get it?) proposed a plan: Have an undercover agent infiltrate Earth society and introduce some minor technology that will help the inhabitants keep their environment clean (long enough for the invasion, of course.)
That plan seems sensible enough, but now comes the real plan of the story. The CIA has their own agenda for Planet Earth, and that agenda means that Mission Earth must fail. Lombar Hisst has discovered the wonders of narcotic drugs (something unique to Earth) and his plan is to make the galaxy a confederation of junkies which he can then have universal control over. Everything seems to be in his control: The supposed mission was his idea, it's implementation will be handled under his supervision, strings were pulled so that other divisions wouldn't be privy to the true knowledge of what was going on.
His flaw, however, is in the person he chose to run the mission. Jettero Heller, unbelievably perfect in everything he does, decorated many times over for courage and valor in battle despite his young age. He knows nothing of espionage and it seems a cinch that the CIA will make sure he falls flat on his face. Yet his unbelievable luck and perfection always seems to pull him ahead.
How long will that last, especially when he's finally away from all that's familiar and alone on Earth, surrounded only by Voltarians whom he doesn't know are actually against him. To make matters worse he is unaware that a tracking device has been surgically planted in him, making everything he sees and hear be recorded for Soltan Gris.
The first book concerns the preparation for the mission and Soltan's desperation to get the mission underway so he can escape creditors. The book infuses history, geography and politics at an almost Tolkienesqe level but doesn't overwhelm.
I've owned the first two books for years and have never read beyond. My reading timetable has finally decreed that the time has come, the series will be finished soon. We will see whether the books maintain the interest and suspense that made book one so enjoyable.
